


i just want to be around you (is that too much to ask?)

by ericaismeg, foxerica (ericaismeg)



Series: rare ships [23]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Alicia Boyd, Alive Vernon Boyd & Erica Reyes, Alternate Universe - High School, Boyd Family Feels, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Loner Alicia Boyd, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 23:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5517665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaismeg/pseuds/ericaismeg, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaismeg/pseuds/foxerica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What are you doing?” Alicia asks, peering over her black-rim glasses to eye down the girl who just sat down across from her. No one sits with Alicia. Everyone knows she <i>hates</i> when people sit at her desk in the library. It might sound stupid, but this desk is the only thing she has at this damn school. She’s not about to let anyone take it away from her.</p>
<p>The wide-eye girl looks at her, surprised and confused. Her lips part, but she doesn’t actually say anything. Alicia looks at her a bit harder. She’s known Tracy Stewart since they were in grade five. Tracy has always reminded her of a mouse; willing and accepting to do everyone else’s bidding. The fact that she had the guts to join Alicia, the well-known school bitch, is shocking.</p>
<p>“There’s no where else to sit,” Tracy says. Her voice is more like a soft, mousey squeak. Alicia narrows her eyes on the girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i just want to be around you (is that too much to ask?)

**Author's Note:**

> Tracy Stewart and Alicia Boyd give me life.
> 
> Originally posted [here.](http://foxerica.tumblr.com/post/134666888697/im-having-the-actual-worst-period-cramps-and-i)

“What are you doing?” Alicia asks, peering over her black-rim glasses to eye down the girl who just sat down across from her. _No one_  sits with Alicia. Everyone knows she  _hates_  when people sit at her desk in the library. It might sound stupid, but this desk is the only thing she has at this damn school. She’s not about to let anyone take it away from her.

The wide-eye girl looks at her, surprised and confused. Her lips part, but she doesn’t actually say anything. Alicia looks at her a bit harder. She’s known Tracy Stewart since they were in grade five. Tracy has always reminded her of a mouse; willing and accepting to do everyone else’s bidding. The fact that she had the guts to _join_  Alicia, the well-known school bitch, is shocking.

“There’s no where else to sit,” Tracy says. Her voice is more like a soft, mousey squeak. Alicia narrows her eyes on the girl.

“Not my problem. Scram,” Alicia says. She pushes her glasses back on the bridge of her nose and then looks down at her notebook. She starts to read where she’d stopped. She’s fully expecting Tracy to run, but the girl doesn’t budge. In fact, she has the balls to _open up her textbook. On Alicia’s desk._

Seriously. No one sat at this desk. Not even when Alicia wasn’t there. It was hers, and hers only. Hell, when she leaves this fucking school she fully plans on dragging the desk with her. No one knows why she cares so much about it; no one’s brave enough to ask. However, Alicia has a sinking feeling that that might change.

“I said _scram._  Go. Sit on the floor or something. This is  _my_  desk.”

Tracy closes her eyes, as though she has to gather her courage, and then her eyes flash at Alicia. They’re full of pure inane stubbornness. Oh _no._  Alicia can play this game better than anyone. “This desk is actually the property of the school, but thanks for making my day a little worse. There’s no where to sit on the floor - people who are terrified of you are already there. I need to study for this damn math test and I need to do it _here._  Do you have a problem with that?”

Alicia goes to say something but presses her lips together instead. Mostly, people avoided her because they knew they were just going to get a fight. She liked it better like that; liked being on her own, doing her thing. She doesn’t need _anyone_. Never had. But Tracy doesn’t seem like a mouse to her anymore.

“I asked _do you have a problem with that?”_  Tracy snaps. “Because I’ve had a shitty ass day and I don’t want to put up with your stupid possessiveness over a fucking _high school desk.”_

Alicia smiles. Apparently, she’d been very wrong about Tracy. She nods, because how can she not respect the only girl who was willing to call Alicia out on her bull shit? She pulls her textbook back, to give Tracy a little more room, and then she pops her headphones back into her ears. She ducks her head to continue studying.

She knows that there are people walking by with expressions of bewilderment and confusion. She doesn’t really mind though. Let them think what they want. Alicia flips the page in her textbook and glances at Tracy. She can’t seem to stop tapping her pen against the paper.

“You okay?” Alicia asks after she’s finished making notes on her chapter and Tracy’s pen tapping gets a little faster.

Tracy freezes for a moment before she looks up at Alicia and the pen starts up again. She shrugs. “No. Today was a shit day. I just want to study.”

Alicia frowns. Tracy seems like the kind of girl who has everything go perfectly for her all the time. Maybe it’s because she’s generally quiet; always in the background as though she’s a piece of transparent wallpaper. Alicia hadn’t really given the girl too much thought before. She never bothered Alicia before this; had never had a reason to talk to her.

And as much of a heartless bitch as her reputation is around the school, Alicia is extremely compassionate. She likes to think it’s something she got from her big brother, Vernon. The truth is that she likes her stone cold heart bitch rep - it lets her stay out of petty drama, lets her do her own thing without too many people giving a shit, and lets her get away with crap that normal people don’t. Whenever she does anything strange or weird, people just chalk it up to _Alicia Boyd is such a selfish bitch. No wonder why she doesn’t have friends._  She likes it like that.

There are no expectations, nobody to disappoint, and a certain level of freedom.

But Tracy has always seemed reasonably sweet. Once, a few years ago, Alicia caught Tracy writing love notes to this girl who had been publicly humiliated by the popular girl in history class. Tracy had left the note sticking out of the girl’s locker and Alicia had gone to read it. She’s nosy, what else can she say?

It’d been a beautiful love letter, written anonymously, with the intention of letting the girl know that she wasn’t the awful things the popular girl had said. Alicia had taken a photo of it with her cell phone so she could read it occasionally. Of course, Alicia has no idea where that photo is now. Somewhere on her external hard drive, she’s sure. But Alicia still thinks about how thoughtful and caring Tracy had been sometimes.

It’d been her only real interaction with Tracy, and it hadn’t really been an interaction at all because she had no idea that Alicia had been around the corner, watching her put the note in the locker. The only reason that Alicia had even caught her was because she was going to leave the girl her own note.

Her note hadn’t been so poetic though. All it had said was, **Paige, don’t worry about what she said. Only she thinks like that. I put a fake spider in her lunch for you. xo.**

“Okay,” Alicia finally says.

They don’t talk for the next hour and a half. Before Alicia packs up her backpack and leaves, she runs her fingers over her mother’s signature that is engraved in the desk. As always, she silently says goodbye.

She stands up and looks down at Tracy. “We’ve been here for two hours. Go home, Tracy. You’ve studied enough.”

The laugh Tracy gives her is a hollow sound. She looks at her and says, “I’ll be here for another two until I get this, and it’s none of your business, okay?”

Alicia smiles. “And here I thought I was the class bitch.”

She’s surprised when Tracy snorts to stifle a laugh. She rubs her nose and mumbles, “Whatever. I won’t let anyone else sit at your desk.”

“Thanks. I hope you have a better day,” Alicia tells her. She’s a little taken back by how genuine her tone is.

Tracy nods and ducks her head back down to study. Alicia feels a little weird seeing her sitting at her mother’s desk alone, but somehow, she feels like it’s in good hands. Alicia ignores all of the whispers her walking away causes.

If anyone was allowed to sit at her mother’s desk, it was going to be the girl who had written, _I believe the world could use a little more compassion and empathy. Some people don’t have it in them to give; others will surprise you. When things get tough, hold your head high and remember that sometimes people lash out for reasons that have nothing to do with you. She’s insecure and she took that insecurity out on you. I’m so sorry she did. But you are strong. You are beautiful. You are freakishly intelligent. And I hope you don’t let her words have any power over how you feel, because she’s a girl who will never understand compassion. And that is to be pitied._

Alicia pulls out her cell phone and texts her brother.

**ALICIA:** _Someone sat with me today_

**VERNON:** _you let someone sit with you at mom’s desk?_

**ALICIA:** _yeah. sort of. well. idk. she didn’t really give me a choice. she told me she was sitting with me._

**VERNON:** _sounds like erica, just saying. determined and stubborn._

**ALICIA:** _hahaha, yeah, except this girl is waaaaaay quieter and usually SUPER shy. so…exact opposite of your girlfriend_

**VERNON:** _she’s not my girlfriend_

**ALICIA:** _lover, whatever, same difference_  
**ALICIA:** _why are even pretending with me?_

**VERNON:** _she barely notices me_

**ALICIA:** _dudeee, I’ve been into mama’s with you_  
**ALICIA:** _she notices you - she drools over you!_  
**ALICIA:** _it makes your baby sister very uncomfortableee_

**VERNON:** _whatever, liss._  
**VERNON:** _who’s the girl?_

**ALICIA:** _tracy stewart_

**VERNON:** _name sounds familiar?_

**ALICIA:** _i don’t know why…I’ve never mentioned her before_

**VERNON:** _strange. you coming to visit us this weekend?_

**ALICIA:** _do I haveeee to? you know how much derek and stiles’ will-they-won’t-they pisses me off_

**VERNON:** _yes you do and why don’t you yell at them? you’re good at getting people to do things they’re scared of_

**ALICIA:** _oh yeah? THEN WHY HAVEN’T YOU ASKED ERICA OUT YET_

 

She slips her phone into her pocket, because she full expects her brother to send her six paragraphs listing off all the reasons why Erica isn’t into him or doesn’t want him or why they’d never work because they’re too ‘different’. Alicia gets onto the bus and settles down in a seat.

She doesn’t realize that she’s at _Mama’s Bakery_ ’s bus stop until she’s standing at it twenty minutes later. Alicia frowns, but she ignored her brother’s _seven_  texts and goes upstairs.

“Alicia!” Erica shouts when she sees her. She completely disregards a customer in favour to walk over and give her a huge.

Alicia loves her brother’s almost-girlfriend. Erica’s probably the only person who _gets_  why Alicia is a bitch at high school; why the wall is _so_  far up that anyone who wants to break it down will need a fucking army and a lot of canon balls. She never presses Alicia either, never tries to find out _why_  Alicia is a cold-hearted bitch most days.

“Uh, Erica–” Alicia says, pointing at the blonde-haired kid who looks royally offended that she walked away from him.

“Oh, that’s just Isaac,” Erica says, rolling her eyes. _Ah,_  Alicia’s heard about Isaac. Vernon swears they’re dating. Erica looks back at her friend and sticks her tongue out. “He’s a dork, and my little brother.”

“I’m older than you, asshole,” Isaac says, but he wanders over to them. “Hi.”

“Hi. I’m Alicia. Vernon’s little sister.”

“Vernon?” Isaac asks, raising an eyebrow. “Is that a name I should know?”

“Boyd,” Erica tells him.

“Oh. _That’s_  a name I know,” Isaac says, laughing. “I gotta run, but it was nice meeting you, Alicia.”

“You too,” she says, with a smile that feels a little more relaxed than usual. Isaac gives Erica a hug and they kiss each other on the cheek which surprises her. She’s sure if she asked her brother if that’s something they could do, he’d say yes in a heart beat. He’s pretty willing to do anything for her. It’s comforting. But Alicia also thinks that siblings who kiss cheeks are kind of dorky. Or at least, maybe if _she_  were to do that, it’d seem dorky. She has a reputation to uphold.

“What can I get you tonight?” Erica asks.

“Uh, maybe some advice.”

So _that’s_  why Alicia had come here. She should’ve realized it sooner, but hadn’t until the words came tumbling out of her lips. Erica waves for her to take a seat at the counter and then she sets out to grab them some dessert. Erica’s humming something when she puts the dessert in front of Alicia. Hmmm, cheesecake. Alicia’s heard about this. She smiles at her. “Alright, love, what do you need advice about?”

“I–I don’t really know. I had full intentions of going home. I kind of just came here,” Alicia says, sighing. This is harder for her than she expected.

Erica doesn’t seem to mind though. She gives her an understanding nod and says, “Is it about a boy?”

“Ah, a girl,” Alicia tells her. She stabs a thick piece of the cheesecake onto her fork. “But I don’t think it’s a love-life thing. It’s just…you know my desk?”

Erica’s expression changes to a serious one. She nods. “Yeah, Boyd told me about the desk.”

“Right. Well. Today, a girl sat there with me.”

“I didn’t think anyone but you sat there?” Erica asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Until today, that has held true for the past three and a half years.” Alicia sighs. “I don’t know. She sat down, said she needed to study, and she wasn’t going anywhere.”

Erica laughs a little at this. “Sounds like my kind of girl. Breaking all the rules. How do you feel, though?”

“Okay. I mean, I let her sit there.” Alicia sighs. “It’s not like it’s _really_  a big deal or anything.”

Erica looks at her, and she scrunches her nose in response. Alicia’s chest falls and then she glares at the cake. “It’s _not.”_

“The way Boyd talks makes it seem like you make sure that _no one_  sits at that desk. No exceptions,” Erica says, shrugging. She’s quieter now when she says, “Are you upset that she sat there?”

Alicia shakes her head. “No, not really. I don’t know her very well, but what I _do_  know of her, she’s a good person.”

Erica says, leaning back, “Then what does it matter? Let her sit with you. She could become a very good friend of yours or something.”

“I don’t need friends,” Alicia says.

“No, but having friends is really nice. Do you think she’ll take care of the desk?” Erica asks her now.

Alicia nods.

“Then maybe don’t shut her out immediately. I think you just wanted someone to tell you that it’s _okay_  to not always be the class bitch. You’re  _allowed_  to have friends and still be you. I mean, I have Isaac, and Derek, and Stiles, and that whole crowd. They don’t mind if I’m a little testy some days,” Erica tells her.

“Yeah, but you aren’t as bitchy as me. You’re way nicer,” Alicia tells her.

Erica snorts. “I wasn’t always. These idiots are the reason I’ve mellowed though.”

The door bell chimes to indicate someone else has come to join them. When they turn, Alicia is surprised to see Tracy. Her lips part and her eyes widened a little. “I thought you were studying for another two hours?”

“They kicked me out,” Tracy responds, nostrils flaring a little. “Apparently they close at six. What bullshit. Why are you here?”

“I always come here,” Alicia says, surprised. She frowns and then says, “My brother’s mooning over Erica. He’s like, desperately in love with her.”

“Wait, _what?”_  Erica shrieks. Alicia jumps, having completely forgot that she’d been behind her. “No he isn’t!”

“Yeah, he is.” Alicia frowns. “He asked you out.”

“He did _no such thing!_  If he had, I would be fucking dating that boy!” Erica shakes her head, in disbelief.

“He did! He took you to dinner.”

“With Stiles and Derek!” Erica says.

“Yeah, who he said _you_  invited,” Alicia points out. Erica’s face goes from denial straight to an epiphany and a loud groan. She leans forward to bang her head off the counter. Alicia puts her hand out to soften Erica’s blows and turns back to Tracy. She gives her a smile. “Want some cheesecake? I’m getting full.”

“Ah,” Tracy says, hesitating. Alicia shrugs and stabs another forkful for herself. Tracy sits down beside her at the counter, and Erica finally stops banging her head against Alicia’s hand. “Could I maybe just have a cupcake?”

“Sure,” Erica says, but her voice sounds strained. Alicia smiles softly. Today hadn’t been what she was expecting, that’s for sure, but it’s nice to be here right now.

“Are you going to study now or…?” Alicia prompts Tracy.

“Oh, I don’t know. I kind of gave up. I don’t get it; I probably never will.”

“I’m, um, I’m pretty decent at math. Want me to see if I can help you?” Alicia asks.

Tray blinks. Then with a heavy sigh, she says, “Well, I guess it can’t get any worse than it already is.”

A half hour later, Alicia and Tracy have moved to the small table at the window and have completed a chapter. Tracy doesn’t seem so mousey now, and Alicia can’t help but wonder if Tracy thinks she’s still a bitch. She doesn’t really know why it matters. It never has before. But still, somehow, Alicia doesn’t want Tracy to think she’s a bad person.

“You could…uh, you could join me again at my desk tomorrow if you wanted,” Alicia says, ducking her head. This is so embarrassing.

Tracy studies her, as if she understands this is a huge honour. She quietly says, “Thanks.”

 

✿ ❤ ✿ ❤ ✿

 

Everyone seems to understand and accept that Tracy has become Alicia’s exception to the desk. No one seems to really question it anymore, not even when Tracy is sitting there alone. They start studying together, and Alicia tries to absorb any little detail about Tracy she can.

In the past two weeks, she’s learned that Tracy loves cotton candy, that she looks forward to the freshly fried doughnuts at the county fair, that she has a big sister who can be a little over-protective at times, and that Dancer is her favourite reindeer from Santa’s crew. Alicia discovers that Tracy sometimes talks to Paige - the girl who had been once humiliated in front of everyone - and that Paige is okay. Alicia can’t help it; she’s softens at the idea of Tracy keeping a watchful eye out.

Sometimes they don’t end up studying at all. Sometimes they just talk quietly. Other times, they simply sit in silence with each other. It’s really nice. Alicia gets used to Tracy’s company, so on the days she doesn’t show, her mood gets a little sour. Her brother starts to pick up on it, and even Erica catches on. They both try to remind her that Tracy doesn’t _always_  have to study. She knows that logically, but she can’t help but feel her mood drop anyway.

Her brother finally got his head out of his ass and asked Erica on a real and proper date - with no surprise guests. The past two weeks have been pretty great.

It’s on a rainy day that Alicia decides to stay in for her lunch. She pulls out her wallet, buys something from the cafeteria which isn’t as disgusting as most schools are (just more expensive), and finds a seat in a short table in the corner. No one would bother her; they never do.

She pulls out her phone, debating on whether or not to text her brother to see if she could spend the weekend with him at his dorm room. It’d be nice to see some of his friends. They’re all fucking crazy though, and despite how blunt and rude she could be, they love her.  Alicia’s thoughts are interrupted when the chair in front of her moves.

Her head snaps up to see Tracy taking the seat.

“What are you doing?” Alicia asks, sounding a bit more hostile than she means to.

Tracy rolls her eyes. “We’re going to eat lunch togehter. I figure since you’re the bitch without any friends and I’m the loser without any friends, we could be friends. I like being around you.”

“I don’t do friends,” Alicia says before she even has a chance to think about what she’s saying. Tracy doesn’t seem to care that she has just been rejected for a friendship. She continues to peel back the container of apple sauce.

“Right. Neither do I. But I’ve decided that we should change that,” Tracy tells her. She picks up her spoon and apple sauce, pausing to meet Alicia’s eyes before taking a spoonful.

“You’ve decided–no. You can’t just _decide_  for us,” Alicia says, shaking her head. “That’s not how things work.”

Tracy makes a small humming noise. She shrugs, “Suit yourself. But don’t you want to rant to someone about how ridiculous Cady looks in that pink sweater?”

Alicia starts to laugh. She can’t help herself. She _had_  wanted to rant to someone about Cady, the popular girl, who thinks she looks fabulous in a bright pink furry sweater. She mocks bows to Tracy at the table and says, “You’re right. I stand corrected. We’re going to be _best_  friends.”

“Told you,” Tracy says. She gives Alicia a bright smile. “The bitch and the loser, who would’ve seen that one coming?”

“I don’t think you’re a loser,” Alicia immediately defends. “Maybe you’re just introverted?”

Tracy shrugs. “I guess people could call me an introvert. I think I’m more socially anxious than anything. Interacting with people makes me feel sick.”

“I–” Alicia is surprised at this. Tracy seems so calm and cool around her. She tilts her head to study Tracy for a moment. “I had no idea that was a thing. Do I make you feel sick?”

“Honestly? No. I don’t know why not. You’d think my social anxiety would be through the roof with someone who is well-known for being rude,” Tracy says, with another shrug. “Maybe it’s because I just know that’s how you are and it’s not personal? Normally, I eat in the washroom stalls because I can’t stand when people can see me eat. So I’m trying something new.”

Alicia has no idea what to say to that. She makes a mental note to Google social anxiety and how to ease it. It never occurred to her that maybe people generally avoided her because she might cause them anxiety instead of fear. She bites on her bottom lip, thinking about it. She’s experienced anxiety before, but never to the point where it’d effect her life so much that she wouldn’t have any friends. She doesn’t have any friends because that was her _choice._  She was tired of all the drama, so she dropped the act, started to say what she really wanted to say, and became the bitch. She had decided to own it; use it to her advantage.

“How’s it going so far?” Alicia finally asks.

Tracy smiles lightly at her. “It’s not so bad. I have a therapist who has been doing CBT with me, so it’s getting better. My task was to find one person that I found incredibly intimidating and speak to them.”

“So you chose _me?”_  Alicia sputters. “Why me?”

“Who else is more intimidating than a girl who is happy with who she is as a person? That’s someone who can destroy you with a flick of her fingers. As it turns out though, you’re a huge softy and I don’t think that you’re intimidating anymore. You’re just yourself. And you’d never destroy me.”

“Why would I?” Alicia asks.

“Because you definitely have that power,” Tracy says, waving her spoon at her. “You have the power to change someone’s entire life if you wanted.”

“I–wow, you think way more highly of me than I think I do,” Alicia tells her, but she’s a little more relaxed now. “You seem confident too. The way you told me that you were sitting at my desk was impressive. No one’s done that to me before.”

Tracy snorts. “Fake it until you make it. And I was pretty desperate and exhausted that day.”

“You’re not so bad.”

“Back at you,” Tracy responds. “So the desk…”

“Um,” Alicia says, looking down at her curly fries. The desk. She knew they’d eventually talk about it one day. She honestly is surprised they’d even lasted this long.

“It’s a good desk,” Tracy says, clearly deciding that she doesn’t want to pry. “Thanks for sharing it with me.”

“Yeah, sure,” Alicia answers.

“Wanna go to _Mama’s_  this weekend?”

Alicia glances down at her phone. She pushes it across the table towards Tracy. “Sounds great. Add your number?”

“Yeah, of course!” Tracy says, dropping her spoon to grab the phone.

Alicia looks up at her, and realizes that she might have to go talk to Erica about her love life. She has a feeling it’s becoming a little more complicated. She swallows when Tracy’s bright face looks at her again. So much for going through high school without any of the typical teenage feelings. She’s pretty sure she just fell in love.

 

✿ ❤ ✿ ❤ ✿

 

“Stiles, I need you to tell me everything you know about social anxiety,” Alicia says on the phone when he answers.

_“Hello to you too, Liss,”_  Stiles’ easy voice comes. She senses amusement in his tone, and repeats her request without changing hers. Stiles sighs. “Uh, alright, okay, why are you asking? Do you think you have it?”

She snorts. “God no. But uh, a friend does, and I want to make sure that she’s comfortable when she’s around me. How do I do that?”

Stiles sighs, but she knows he’s going to tell her what she needs to know. He starts to explain why people sometimes have social anxiety. Then he says,  _“People who have a social anxiety disorder usually feel as though they’re carrying around a mirror in front of their face. They’re only looking at what they’re doing and what people are thinking of them. It’s hard to ask strangers questions or eat in front of people. They think that everyone is watching their every move; often think they’re not good enough. Or they’re annoying or boring.”_

Alicia frowns. Tracy is none of those things. She’s actually pretty amazing, and Alicia only wants to get to know her better. She frowns, her eyebrows together. “What’s BCT?”

_“Ah, um, CBT is cognitive behavioural therapy. Wow, just asking all the tough questions are we? Basically, it’s therapy to change how one thinks or behaves. Conscious thoughts that can influence someone’s behaviour. I don’t know too much about it, but I know that a therapist usually helps someone work through it. It’s like helping someone who is afraid of heights to slowly work on climbing a ladder.”  
_

“So someone with social anxiety might be told to pick someone and talk to them?” Alicia asks.

_“I guess. That depends on the therapist and the progression of a person. I don’t really know about that, Liss,”_ Stiles makes some shuffling noises in the background.  _“Honestly, I think all you can do is be understanding and let your friend work through it themselves.”_

“But if I know what causes it, I can do my best not to put her in those kind of situations. Thanks for answering my questions, Stiles. I figured you’d know about this stuff bettern than anyone,” Alicia tells him.

_“No problem, weirdo. Since when do you have friends, anyway?”_

“Shut up, asshole. I can have friends!” Alicia says, but she’s laughing. After a moment, she catches her breath and says, “She actually sat with me at my desk. She’s pretty stubborn for someone with social anxiety.”

Stiles laughs at that.  _”She sat at your desk. Hmm, I’m going to say it’s a match well-made then.”_

“Shut up. Have you finally made out with Derek yet?” she shoots back.

_“Hey!”_  Stiles protests.  _“You know the rules!”_

“Right, no Derek-talk unless I want to be on the phone for seventeen hours while you wax poetry about him,” Alicia teases.

_“You wax poetry about me?”_ a very familiar, very deep voice comes from the background of Stiles’ end. The voice is definitely, 100% Derek Hale.

Alicia slaps a hand across her mouth. Then she says, “Stiles! Stiles, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize–”

_“You’re so dead the next time I see you, Alicia Parker Boyd!”_ Stiles shouts.

Alicia glances at her phone when she realizes that Stiles’ has hung up on her. Her expression is sheepish when she says, “Oops. I guess that’s why we have a code name for him.”

She curls up on her bed and does some more research.

 

✿ ❤ ✿ ❤ ✿

 

Alicia wants to tell Tracy how crazy she is about her four months later. By now, they’ve become best friends. Tracy still hasn’t asked about the desk, and Alicia’s not sure she’s ready to answer that question just yet. They’ve come close a few times, but one of them always changes the topic. Alicia’s afraid that if she tells Tracy how she feels, how much she’s come to care, that Tracy will freak out. It’ll cause her social anxiety to spike.

She doesn’t want to do that. She’s not even sure how to handle it. She’d call Stiles, but he’s still a little annoyed with her for the whole Derek thing. Not that it matters now. They’re finally dating. She’d call up Erica to ask or stop by Mama’s Bakery, but she’d learned three months ago that Erica is Tracy’s older half-sister. It seems a little strange now.

Asking her brother anything is useless. He’d just tell her to be honest with Tracy. She doesn’t know _how_  to be. Not about this.

However, she’s been getting anxious wanting to say the words, so when Tracy is about to sit down at the desk after class on a Thursday night, Alicia blurts, “I have a crush!”

Tracy freezes. She covers her mouth with her fingertips and stares at Alicia. “Uh, sorry?”

“I, um, I have a crush, on someone, and well, I need advice,” Alicia stammers. Tracy’s eyebrows shoot way up and she finally slides into her seat. Because she might as well as her best friend how to handle this situation.

Tracy scratches her eyebrow and then closes her eyes for a moment. When she opens her eyes again, she’s more composed. “Why do you need advice? Anyone would be lucky to have you, Liss.”

Alicia sighs. “Yeah, yeah, I know that bullshit. I’m nervous because I haven’t told this person that I’m demisexual and I don’t know if that’s something that would make or break it.”

Tracy frowns. “Demisexual? What’s that exactly?”

“Uh, well, it’s similar to asexuality _except_  that I _do_  experience sexual attraction when I’ve bonded with someone. It’s not gender-based for me; it’s just person-based. And I don’t know, I guess you know how hard it is for me to ever get emotionally attached to anyone,” Alicia tells her. She’s fidgeting with her hands. Why can’t she stop fidgeting with her hands? She swallows, unable to look at Tracy right now.

“Oh, okay. Why would that make or break it for someone?” Tracy asks, her voice soft.

“Because I’m not…you know. I’m not always interested in having sex?” Alicia asks.  “Even if I’m emotionally attached to someone.”

Tracy snorts. “Liss, anyone who doesn’t want to date you because you might not want to have sex all the time is a complete and utter _idiot._  You are incredible, and amazing, and so compassionate. You are funny and ridiculous and _way too_ hard on yourself. You call yourself a bitch, but you’re rarely mean or rude. My therapist has even said that our friendship has done wonders for me. I’m even occasionally talking to Paige sometimes in class because of you. Whoever doesn’t like you is a fucking idiot. I’d beat them up if I wasn’t so scared of confrontations.”

Alicia doesn’t know what to say. She stares at this girl who has come to mean so much to her. She reaches out, slips her fingers in Tracy’s, and whispers, “It’s you. I’m crushing on you.”

Tracy lets out a deep breath of air. “Oh thank god. I was going to have to leave, because I can’t stand the thought of you feeling like that for someone else.”

Alicia wonders if Tracy will ever cease to surprise her. She doesn’t think so. She lets out a small nervous laugh and squeezes Tracy’s hand. “What would I have done if you hadn’t forced yourself to sit at my desk?”

“Missed out on something really great,” Tracy murmurs. “Or what I hope will be something really great, anyway.”

“So does this mean…?”

“Liss, will you be my girlfriend?” Tracy asks.

“Shut up, of course.” Alicia beams at her for a moment. She looks down at her mother’s signature in the desk and points at it with her free hand. “See this? This is my mom’s signature. This is where she met my dad. She hated him though. She told him that he was not welcomed at her desk. He asked her if it had her name on it, and she engraved it in with a pocket knife she carried on her. My dad said he had never been more interested in a woman before. She was fearless, like a lion.”

“Liss–” Tracy starts.

“No, it’s okay. I want to talk about it.”

“Okay, then I want to listen.”

“My dad didn’t bug her after that though. He started leaving her notes here though. Little things, just to remind her how great she was. She threw them all out. He asked her to prom, she said no, and he went alone. She had two other dates though, and they ended up hooking up. He asked her for a dance, and she said no. He walked away and she chased him. She said _one dance._  They danced for that one dance, and then that was the last time they saw each other for a few years.”

Alicia runs her finger tips over the name.

“My dad ran into her at a college party. She saw him from across the room and said that everything had changed for her then. She said he gave her the smallest wave, just to acknowledge she was there, and he went back to talking to his buddies. She said she doesn’t know why, but she was suddenly drawn to him. A girl had walked up to him, and my mom had recognized her as the girl he had been dating. She had heard they broke up. So she walked up to him, said he looked good in the outfit she picked out, and just kissed him. Right there. In the middle of someone’s living room.”

Tracy laughs. “Wow. Your mom sounds amazing.”

“She was,” Alicia whispers. Tracy squeezes her fingers. “They got married six months later. Had my brother, had me, and then when I was seven, she fell through some ice at our cabin. We couldn’t…we couldn’t save her.”

Tracy lets out a deep exhale. “Oh, Liss…wanna get out of here? You can come over. We’ll curl up on my bed or something.”

“That sounds nice,” Alicia says. They stay there for a few moments longer. Then they start to pack up. Before Alicia stands up though, she looks at Tracy and smiles. “I always wanted to fall in love at the same desk that started my parents’ love story.”

Tracy’s smile is enough to ease the ache in Alicia’s chest. Their hands slip together as though they were always meant to, and they walk out of the library.

 

✿ ❤ ✿ ❤ ✿

 

It’s their last day at the school. Alicia and Tracy sit at their desk. Tracy looks down at Alicia’s mom’s engraving. “Think we should steal this desk before they lock it up in here?”

Alicia shakes her head. She smiles at her girlfriend. “No. I want it to stay so someone else can fall in love here.”

She starts to carve her name into the desk close to her mother’s name.

 

✿ ❤ ✿ ❤ ✿

**Author's Note:**

> Come cry with me [here](http://www.foxerica.tumblr.com) and send me Tracy/Alicia prompts?


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